Across the Bow

I love movies like Master and Commander, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Mutiny on the Bounty.  The impressiveness of the ships holds my attention easily, but even with awe when the battle scenes occur.  One of the things that I have learned watching these movies is the proximity that is required when the battles ensue and I am often reminded of that phrase, "fire a warning shot across the bow."

In my studies of Genesis I believe that we "find a warning shot being fired across the bow" for parents.  In chapter 34 we have the account of Jacob's sons and daughter.  In verse 1 we read, "Now Dinah, the daughter Leah had borne to Jacob, went out to visit the women of the land."  Unfortunately, the next verse expresses a tragic outcome to the visit.  Scripture says, "When Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, the ruler of the area, saw her, he took her and violated her."

This situation sheds light on a variety of principle issues that families face everyday.  The first principle is that God's people should make their dwelling where the Lord is, obediently pursuing his plans.  Jacob failed to do this for his family.  Earlier the Lord had instructed Jacob to go to Bethel (the House of God), but Jacob stopped short, settling in the neighborhoods of Succoth and Shechem.  Jacob should have settled where the Lord called him, especially in a location that would have offered the security of God's presence.  Jacob wasn't going to serve effectively in a place God had not called him to.

Settling in the wrong place impacts the family in another way, because there is another principle violated. Evidently Dinah was lonely, needing female companionship.  Who could blame her, she was very likely the only daughter among 11 boys.  She was probably in her early to late teens and thought she was going to be able to handle the world.  However unfortunately, she was allowed to go into the world unchaperoned.

Before we are too quick to jump to any conclusions about Dinah's character let's note a couple of things about Jacob at this point.  As you continue to read this chapter you will notice that Jacob is very indecisive, he is invisible when decisions are enacted, he is concerned about his reputation rather than his daughter's and he abdicates the responsibility of justice.  James Montgomery Boice writes the following in regards to this, "I do not know the source of Jacob's failures (spiritual poverty, weaknesses of character, or something else).  But I do know where the failures of many of today's fathers come from.  They come from being "too busy" or from being afraid that their children will hate them if they establish discipline and set household laws.  If you are a father and have been failing in this area, reverse that failure, whatever your children may think."

The third principle that failed to register for Jacob is to remember that the world is wicked.  You might want to argue with me at this point, but I would simply remind you of this truth.  We fail to recognize that the evil of "good" people might be even worse - worse because we fail to recognize it as evil and we deny that it is evil.  We become much like the frog in the kettle, when placed in when the water is cool it will stay all the while when the water is turned to boiling and it will die.  Let us not allow our children to be brought up with this kind of environment, instead let us alert them to the dangers of the world.

Finally, the religious practices of Jacob's sons was not one of devotion to relationship with the Lord, but one of mere practical purposes.  You see they abused their neighbors in Shechem by misusing the religious practices of their day.  Sometimes we need to be cautious with those who claim to be of God because they can abuse those around them by false understanding and practices.  This means that we need to be people who study the Word with care and discuss it with our children so that they possess the truth themselves and will not be abusive as they live out their faith.

I hope that this is a warning shot to all of us who are parenting so that we are committed to, courageous for, careful in, contrasting the world and communicative about our faith with the Lord Jesus so that our children will be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Reading With Your Children - More Than Reading

At Christmas time last year Katie and I gave two books to our oldest children (Rebecca and Christian). They are the first two of four in the Wingfeather Saga, a series written by Andrew Peterson. I actually had the privilege of meeting Andrew several years ago when I was doing youth minister in East Tennessee. He is an incredible musician and I was excited to learn about these books from Jonathan Taylor Martin of Mosaic.

Unfortunately our kids didn't decide to jump into the books and even after some encouragement to read them. One of them actually began reading the first book and started complaining about the character development with great frustration. I waited to see if the book would be given a chance only to find it back on the shelf where it had sat for a few months. At that point I got my dander up a little bit and decided I was going to read the series and see if I could build a little encouragement and momentum.

Jonathan was absolutely correct in his recommendation and I was thrilled to be reading the series. I quickly finished the first two only to wait on the release of the third (yes now I am waiting on the fourth too, with eager anticipation). As great as the books are, what I noticed was very interesting as I began to drop comments about my enjoyment of Andrew's writing and the story line. Christian began to ask me questions and was amazed that I had finished them so quickly.

He had been dragging his feet to complete the reading I had assigned for the summer (Treasure Island), so I didn't anticipate the response when he picked up the first book and started into it. After about 2 days, maybe 8 chapters in he was coming to me and reporting on his progress in the story and started asking questions about the future of specific characters and trying to make guesses in the outcome of particular circumstances. Never did I give away anything in the story line, but I would drop some hint to cause him to think or just return his question with a raised eyebrow (at least raised to the best of my ability) which would drive him mad with intrigue at the future events for the characters.

He has almost finished the third book in the 4 weeks (Treasure Island took him about 8), and we had an incredible discussion about the characters, their flaws, their likenesses to real people. We discussed the hints of redemption that Andrew brings out through the story and enjoyed a great conversation about the benefits of this in our own lives. It brought a great spiritual lesson home to me.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:1, "Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." My son, Christian, caught the excitement of reading the books after I modeled excitement before him. He started understanding the symbolism and deeper matters of the books when we talked together. This made me realize that the manner in which our children will grasp the Gospel (Good News of Jesus Christ and all that it entails) is for us, as parents, to engage in a walk with Jesus which models the significance of the Gospel. As we are transformed by our friendship with Jesus, by our prayer life with the Father, and by the empowering of the Holy Spirit, our children will see this and most likely model Christ because of the value He holds for us. One day they will possess their own faith, but for now, I sure want to set Christ before them as I imitate Him. That doesn't happen merely by reading a book, but it happens by embracing them in relationship as Christ has embraced us.