Submit To One Another - Really ?!?

B.F. Westcott, commented on Ephesians 5:21, “In mutual subjection all realize the joy of fellowship. Such harmonious subjection of one to another is the social expression of the personal feeling of thankfulness.”

Having just taught on the consequence of thankfulness being one of the results of “careful living,” this quote grabbed my attention. Doesn't it make sense that when we “always” express thankfulness to God “for everything” the result will be mutual subjection that produces harmonious relationships as we mutually interdependently serve and worship the Lord?

The importance of “getting this right” (that is mutual submission), is that it is the foundation for specific principles that guard all of our relationships. The principle of mutual submission can only begin with the proper motivation. Paul defines this proper motivation to be out of reverence for Christ. This is consistent with Paul's earlier statements in verse 15 when he utilizes the Greek word oun, which is often translated "therefore." Remember, Paul has previously instructed his readers in regards to their identity in Jesus and the necessity of imitating God as beloved children. The consistent goal Paul has in mind is the exultation and renown of Jesus Christ.

Matthew Henry describes this submission as “a mutual submission that Christians owe one to another, condescending to bear one another's burdens: not advancing themselves above others, nor domineering over one another and giving laws to one another.” It is born out of an understanding of our proper position before God, a reverential fear of Him for His sake. Every individual can only properly align their relationships when they have a correct biblical understanding of their status before God. John Calvin wrote, “It is evident that man never attains to a true self-knowledge until he has previously contemplated the face of God, and come down after such contemplation to look into himself.”

If we are going to be successful in any relationship it must begin with the consideration of our position before God, a humility before Him that identifies our equality with every individual, especially other believers, and therefore begins with mutual submission to one another based on this principle. This mutual submission is the basis for healthy individual relationships among believers. (Hopefully as you read this there is not a tendency to interpret this to mean submission at the expense of other principles as outlined in Scripture).

It is essential to understand that mutual submission does not negate the importance of structure within organizations that also requires us to be submissive. Paul continues his teaching by outlining some of these relationships. He begins with an examination of the marriage relationship, then addresses children, and concludes with instructions to slaves and masters. In relation to this, MacArthur notes, “A nation cannot function without the authority of its rulers, soldiers, police, judges, and son on. Such people do not hold their authority because they are inherently better than everyone else but because without the appointment and exercise of orderly authority the nation would disintegrate into anarchy.” He continues quoting Hebrews 13:17, “Likewise within the church we are to “obey” [our] leaders, and submit to them; for they keep watch over [our] souls as those who will give an account.”

If there is going to be success in any organization there must be a system in place for people to work in an orderly manner for the efficiency of that group. As individuals, leaders are no more superior, however, in the organization there will be those who hold positions of authority; there will exist structure, hierarchy, authority and the need for submission from members in the organization. MacArthur says, “As with leaders in government, it is not that church leaders inherently superior to other Christians or that men are inherently superior to women, but that no institution – including the church – can function without a system of authority and submission.”

As we consider our relationships, it is necessary that the role each individual fills in that relationship be carefully determined so that the matter of submission is handled biblically. For marriage there are instructions regarding roles given in Scripture for the man and the woman to fill respective of their genders. Their should be mutual submission in some matters and in others there will be a need for submission according to Biblical principles. As noted earlier the key to thriving in relationships, as a couple in marriage, as parent and child, government to civilian, or church leader to layperson, there must be a clear understanding of the roles and a fervent desire for following in righteousness so that Jesus be magnified by your living.